Friday, 3 May 2013

BOOK SUMMARY: The Charge: Activating the 10 Human Drives that Make You Feel Alive - Brendon Burchard

The Charge - Brendon Burchard
Activating the 10 Human Drives that Make You Feel Alive

BASELINE                                  FORWARD
HUMAN                                      HUMAN
DRIVES                                      DRIVES

1. Control......................-->   6. Charge
2. Competence..............-->    7. Challenge
3. Congruence...............-->    8. Creative Expression
4. Caring.......................-->    9. Contribution
5. Connection...............-->   10. Consciousness

The Baseline Drives

Not things we necessarily need to survive, but they are things we want to have.

1. CONTROL - To regulate and influence our overall life experience

          a. ACTIVATOR 1 = Control your outlook and character
                     i. Control what kind of information you let into your brain - Let good information in.
                    ii. Be an optimist
                   iii. Control the quality of person you will be on an everyday basis - intention is not
                         enough: actions must show character
          b. ACTIVATOR 2 = Control for "new"
                    i. 90 day mental getaway
                   ii. New dining events (new restaurant, eat with friends)
                   iii. What's happening in your area this weekend?
                   iv. Travel adventures
                    v. Expand your peer circle
                    vi. Develop new skills
          c. ACTIVATOR 3 = Control workflow
                     i. Be fully involved in two to five major projects from beginning to end
                    ii. STOP BEING DISTRACTED! Order your day toward accomplishing real work
                        tasks. Emails last.

Charge points:

1. If I were to live at a higher level of character and maintain a more positive outlook, I would have to begin _________________________________.
2. Two things I could schedule in my calendar right now to control for "new" and introduce novelty and challenge into my life are ____________________________________.
3. A project that I could get involved in or create immediately that would allow me to be more fully invested in my work and shepherd a project from beginning to end would be ________________.

2. COMPETENCE - The ability to understand, successfully perform in, and master our world

          a. ACTIVATOR 1 = Assess and direct your desire to learn
               i. See yourself using the new skill in the future and see it contributing to who you are
              ii. Learn for intrinsic value - Learn something you find personally meaningful
             iii. Learn something useful to you
             iv. Don't avoid learning because of some "imagined" opportunity cost that doesn't exist
             v. Don't avoid learning something because you are afraid of the time it will take for it to
            vi. Be in control of the outcome of learning something new. Do not let fear of failure stop
                you from beginning. Your hard work pays off!
           vii. Create meaningful relationships along the way; Make sure you are supported in your
          viii. Do not be afraid to over-extend yourself! Over-extension leads to growth!
            ix. Consciously evaluate the resources you would need to begin learning something new
             x. Make sure you are given the trust you need to begin learning
HOW have I been approaching new learning situations?
          b. ACTIVATOR 2 = Set a real challenge, plan for success, and get a coach!
               i. To grow in life, you need to focus on growth!
              ii. Are there any important areas of your life that you have not improved in a while?
             iii. Choose real, observable, time-bound challenges that will advance your life. YOU set
                  the challenge. PUSH yourself. Do it for no other reason than to grow.
                            ---. Be a planner
                            ---. Have someone to coach and encourage you through it
          c. ACTIVATOR 3 = Integrate successes into your identity
                 i. Take time to give yourself credit for what you have learned, even on a daily basis

Charge points:

1. One area I would have to develop more skill and competence in, if I am going to make my dream future come true is _____________________________________.
2. A 60 day speed-learning challenge I am going to give myself is _______________________.
3. One of the ways I am going start celebrating my wins and integrating my successes into my identity is to _________________________________.

3. CONGRUENCE - To live in consistent alignment with who we think we are, how we want others to perceive us, and who we want to become

          a. ACTIVATOR 1 = Set new standards for yourself. 
                 i. Be congruent for yourself and with others and consistently live those standards
                ii. Consciously describe who you want to be for yourself
                iii. Consciously describe who you want to be for others
                iv. Consistently live your vision
          b. ACTIVATOR 2 = Set your mood meter: Have emotional congruence with a positive 
What mood do you want to have? Why?
                 i. Do physical movement (exercise) often
                ii. Play positive music or sounds
               iii. Pay attention to positive and shut out the negative stimuli
               iv. Surround yourself with positive people
                v. Be enthusiastic about the future
               vi. Start the day with positive expectation
               vii. Drink water all day long
               viii. Look for reasons to say thank you and complement others
                 ix. Have lunch with friends
                 x. Write in a journal each night
          c. ACTIVATOR 3 = Keep your word and follow through
                 i. Understand the depth of the impact of your words
                 ii. Follow through with your responsibilities and duties
                    (follow through with what you know you should be doing)

Charge Points:

1. To live my 6-word standards each day, the behaviours I would have to stop/start in my life, to be more congruent with them, are _________________________________.
2. Three things I could do every day to manage my mood, so I could have a greater day-to-day congruence in how I feel are __________________________.
3. Five commitments I am going to make and keep in the next 60 days are _______________.

4. CARING - To care for others

          a. ACTIVATOR 1 = Care for thyself
                  i. Drink a lot more water (6 L a day)
                 ii. Sleep more
                 iii. Smaller portions, more produce (one third of a plate)
                 iv. Exercise at least three times per week
                 v. Meditate (twice a day)
                 vi. Give yourself a little credit
                 vii. Engage your emotions more often
This is an aspect of congruence as well
          b. ACTIVATOR 2 = Be more vulnerable and allow others to care for you more
                   i. Let your guard down
                  ii. Be bold and open yourself to care from others
                 iii. What challenges or problems are you having in the areas of life? What are your
                     ambitions? Will you go it alone in these problems & dreams -- or will you ask for
          c. ACTIVATOR 3 = Be more present, interested, and attentive to others
                   i. People need our presence, not our presents
                  ii. When someone talks about a personal experience, ask this question: "Wow! How
                      did you feel when that happened?"

Charge Points:

1. Five ways I am going to start taking better care of myself include _______________________.
2. If I were willing to be more vulnerable in life, I would probably start asking for more help in the area of ___________________________________.
3. Three ways I will start demonstrating more care for the people in my life are to _____________.

5. CONNECTION - To feel connected to others

          a. ACTIVATOR 1 = Define and design your ideal relationships
                i. Family
               ii. Friendship
               iii. Intimate relationship
               iv. Coworker relationship
          b. ACTIVATOR 2 = Practice positive projection
                i. Project positive traits onto others -- they will live up to them
               ii. See others in an overwhelmingly positive light (make excuses for others)
              iii. Stop seeing others as obstacles, but see them as teammates or "worthy opponents"
              iv. Give 5 times more praise than complaints or negativity
          c. ACTIVATOR 3 = Find and cultivate "growth friends"
               i. Choose how much time you give your friends
               ii. Choose how much you will develop the quality of such relationships
               iii. Make the choice to surround yourself with remarkable friends that will help lift you to
                   the level you know you should be at
               iv. Get real about the friends you will develop deeper relationships with
                             ---. Write down all the friends you've ever had
                             ---. Write a short description of 1. What about them you liked as friends;
                                   2. Why you are still or no longer friends with them.
                             ---. Categorize as 1. Old friends; 2. Maintenance friends; 3. Growth friends
                             ---. Share your true thoughts, feelings and ambitions in life
                             ---. You want growth friends? Model the friendship.

Charge Points:

1. Five things I could do immediately to create happier and deeper relationships in my life would be ____________________________________.
2. If I did a better job in positively projecting toward my spouse or significant other, I would start to give that person credit for these things ______________________________________.
3. The growth friends I have in my life, or will now try to cultivate include ___________________.


The Forward Drives
The ability to master the baseline drives dramatically affects our ability to activate our forward drives

These drives shake you up, are less comfortable to fully activate, but are more satisfying; they demand planning and demand more of yourself, acting more boldly than ever before

6. CHANGE - Intelligently and strategically manage (CONTROL) your desire for change

          a. ACTIVATOR 1 = Make change about the gains, not the losses
                i. People fear what change will bring because of
                          ---. expectation of loss
                          ---. expectation of the pain of the process of change
                          ---. expectation of bad outcome
               ii. Focus on gains
               iii. Focus on new challenges
               iv. Change the negative "what-if" statements to positive "what-if" statements
          b. ACTIVATOR 2 = Get clarity, think big, and be bold
                i. Defined, detailed vision for what you want to accomplish and have been
               ii. Think big and it will demand all the best in you. "SMART" goals are not good enough.
               iii. Chase a goal that is unthinkable for others; get up again and again
          c. ACTIVATOR 3 = Make real choices
                i. Make real choices in advance of setting out for change
               ii. Make clear and focused statements on what you want (this) and what you don't want
                               ---. I want this, not that
                               ---. Do more of this, no more of that
                               ---. When this happens, do that (hook new habits onto old ones)
                               ---. Always choose this, not that
                               ---. Do this now, then that

Charge Points:

1. A major change I have been holding back in my life, because of a major loss, process or outcome pain is _____________________________________.
2. A clear and bold new change I could make in my life would be to ____________________.
3. The "this-that" rules I could apply to this clear and bold new change would be ____________.

7. CHALLENGE - Challenge yourself!

          a. ACTIVATOR 1 = Choose more fulfilling challenges
5 aspects of fulfilling focuses
                 i. Demand singularity of focus
                ii. Stretch our efforts and capabilities
               iii. Ability to "score" your performance and progress
               iv. Allow for sense of completion
               v. Allow a sharing of experience and achievement
          b. ACTIVATOR 2 = Focus on the journey and don't fear rejection
Two enemies of challenge:
                  i. unmet expectations
                 ii. paralyzing fear of rejection

          c. ACTIVATOR 3 = Set monthly, 30-day challenges
                  i. Check in each Sunday and at the end of the month
                  ii. personal development challenges
                  iii. social challenges
                 iv. giving challenges
                 v. contribute to the world
                        ---. DO NOT avoid a challenge because you can't envision the solution!
                        ---. DO NOT address these problems alone!
Charge Points:
1. The next big and bold challenge I am going to take on in my life is to __________________.
2. If I stopped fearing rejection, a challenge I would have taken on earlier in my life would have been to _______________.
3. The 30-day challenges I could set for myself, over the next 12 months include ____________.

8. CREATIVE EXPRESSION - Creatively expressing something of your unique self
The new worker is the "creative" worker, the innovator
          a. ACTIVATOR 1 = Amplify creative expression in all areas of your life
                 i. Can you see your creative expression in all areas of your life? Relationships, the
                    home, at work?
          b. ACTIVATOR 2 = Study people and design
                 i. People watch
                 ii. Get into the arts
                 iii. Notice how things are designed
          c. ACTIVATOR 3 = Create more; share more
                  i. Actually create something
                 ii. Really creating something requires a long slog of hard work with knowledge
Charge Points

1. To show more of me and express myself more creatively, at home and at work, I will _______.
2. To be more inspired by people and design in my life, I could start ______________________.
3. The next thing I am going to physically create and share with the world would be ___________.

9. CONTRIBUTION - To give something that matters
Contribution is the source of meaning in our lives
Not all methods of contribution are created equal!
Giving of versus Giving to
          a. ACTIVATOR 1 = Give of yourself (and give yourself credit while you're at it!)
                   i. Give the best of yourself to everything you do and you will feel like                                       you are contributing
                   ii. Give all your energy, skill, effort, etc... and you will be giving of                                  yourself
                   iii. It is enough to give your best self in everything! Don't try to be                                   famous, just give yourself and let things happen.
                   iv. How have you contributed to the life of your family?
                   v. Recognize your impact!
          b. ACTIVATOR 2 = Give to deeply meaningful contribution experiences
                   i. You can give your time, energy, effort, resources, skills, connections,                                     attention, and love to others
                   ii. The world already recognizes this type of giving 
                   iii. Choose the right giving activity matters as much as choosing the right                        cause
                   iv. Choose novel, challenging, socially connected and personally                                               meaningful activity
         1. Must have ability to leverage your strengths in some kind of creative activity & must be able to see your creative works come to fruition
         2. The most meaningful experiences almost always involves mentoring others
         3. Satisfying contribution experiences let us see the direct social impact of our efforts
         4. Don't choose the cause that you feel is most important
         5. "Fate funding": Giving to people whom "fate" has placed in front of us--giving to their causes
          c. ACTIVATOR 3 = Mentor, mentor, mentor!
                   i. You can make an impact, and get paid for it, through your knowledge!
                   ii. Man's main concern is not gain pleasure, or avoid pain, but rather, to                                    see a meaning in his life." Viktor Frankl

Charge Points:
1. I feel I contribute to the world around me by _________________________________.
2. A new, and deeply meaningful giving experience I'd like to create is _________________.
3. Someone who could use my mentoring is ______________________________________.

10. CONSCIOUSNESS – Did I live? Did I love? Did I matter?
-Consciousness = the human-bound capacity to be self-aware (human, psychological, in the body)
-Consciousness = non-human, cosmic/divine unifying energy or force (religious, spiritual, outside the body, transcendent)

We can achieve both.
          a. ACTIVATOR 1 = Focus your consciousness
                   i. Be conscious of your thoughts. Where shall I focus my thoughts now?
                   ii. Be conscious of your emotional and physical energy. How shall I feel                                    right now?
                   iii. Be conscious of your behaviour. Always full integrity with self and                                      deep respect for others!
                   iv. Be conscious of others. Know thyself, but know others too. Seek                                 insight into others’ lives.
                   v. Be conscious of your progress. What is your end? Am I moving                                    forward in life?
          b. ACTIVATOR 2 = Transcend consciousness
We seek a connection with a higher purpose, God, ask the existential questions, and to connect with something more than ourselves.
                   i. Be conscious of the present moment. We can sense a oneness right                               now! Am I fully present right now? How present am I on scale of 1 to 10? Be fully present with what is.
                   ii. Be at peace with your past and with what life is now.
                   iii. Be conscious of coincidence and intuition.
                   iv. Be conscious of love. What if love is the force holding the universe                                      together? Live this love. Give love, don’t wait for it, and don’t expect anything in return.
          c. ACTIVATOR 3 = Live in wonder.
                   i. Allow yourself to be amazed!
                   ii. We can steer our free will to create a sense of awe.
                   iii. Meet wondrous thoughts that come to you and wonder about them deeply

Charge Points:
1. If I were more aware and directive of my consciousness in life, my life would change in these ways: ___________________________________________________

2. To connect with a higher consciousness on a more regular basis, I could _____________________________________________________________________

3. The things that inspire my wonder about the world and my place in it include _____________________________________________________________________


          You cannot completely win. You cannot fully master any of the drives. The journey is what makes you “charged”. You can have the commitment it takes to activate these drives everyday more and more. Difficult does not mean “bad”. Challenges make us alive! The struggle is worth it.

Give yourself permission to live fully expressed and live with more life. Challenge others to charge themselves as well.

We experience this when we go beyond ourselves and succeed at it, “out there” in the world. Be bold and ready yourself. You can live every day in celebration.

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